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Main Forums => Friends, Family & Loved Ones => Topic started by: Redwoodguy on November 13, 2009, 11:02:36 pm

Title: After 20 yrs. Tired of Partner only being Negative
Post by: Redwoodguy on November 13, 2009, 11:02:36 pm
 :(I'm trying to start a new consulting biz because Wall St. and the Housing Mkt. were gracious enough to take my retirement monies far, far away.  What I'm realizing that Whatever I attempt to do, my partner ALWAYS takes the position of Devil's Advocate, whether he knows anything or not about what I'm doing.  This is Very Depressing after having survived a Mother (dad was there but totally invisible) who never thought anything or anyone I knew or did was worthy--even though I aced everything, was in college while going to high school-you know the pattern, doing everything right, hoping for that one moment of verification by first your Mom and now, hoping my partner would get off his high horse to at least say that Something I'm doing is Great (and I'm the big breadwinner in this family, including underwriting most of the education of our daughter).  I'm sick and tired of defending Everything I chose to do and his nonending attacks (mostly of stuff he knows NOTHING about) and never getting just one ounce of encouragement-whereas I've psyched out his need for appreciation and his own delusions of unworthiness and constantly go out of my way to encourage him.  I'm now resenting all the work I'm putting into this relationship to keep him reassured and Very Tired of his negativity.  Is this simply self-destructive behavior and I should jump ship (we've spent thousands and years in therapy-long ago though-and perhaps a lost has been lost in the interim), but I'm ready to cut him loose, which will be a financial disaster for him, but redeeming for me.  Any thoughts?